13 Weeks and Change (pun intended?)

Shul

Monday was Amelia's first day of "shul." No, she's not learning Yiddish, but that is her current pronunciation. Class is MWF, from 8:30 to 11:30am. She's doing very well, according to her teachers: follows directions, does her work, plays with others (she knows two of her classmates already) is sweet. The problem comes when she's asked if she needs a diaper change. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! And then come the tears. Monday it happened about ten minutes before the end of class so I didn't get a call. Today it happened about two hours in. The poor kid is so upset at the notion that she doesn't get over it and continues to cry. One teacher says AC has a strong sense of boundaries. I said, "We don't, so I don't know where she learned it." So, the current plan is I will change her in the classroom first thing on Friday, maybe even see if she'll let a teacher do it with me there. And then, there is to be no diaper talk the rest of the morning. Seriously. These are precious hours to Mama.

First pic of E2 (Embryo 2) or Who wants to see inside my body?

Oh Happy Day!

A little song from a newly 2(1) - year - old

News and more photos

Take two proven baby-makers, send them on a two-week vacation in an incredible part of the world without the aforementioned proof, and voila, more proof is on the way. That's right, we're crazy enough to do this thing again and are expecting a baby early August.

Also, Brandon uploaded his trip pics (finally)!

120 Photos!

Here is a selection of the photos I took on our trip. Brandon is still "working" on "uploading" "his." (Which means I decided to stop waiting before sharing.)



You can click through to Flickr to see captions. Hey, it's much better than a slide show in my living room with watered-down cocktails, stale crackers, and spray cheese. :)

Holiday Spirit?

I went to Kmart Saturday. I parked and grabbed a cart. I noticed there was a Salvation Army bell ringer out front so I put my purse in the cart and dug out a dollar. I had a coffee so I held that in my right hand along with the dollar bill and steered the cart with the left. I walked to the bell ringer and dropped the dollar in the kettle. The bell ringer offered thanks and then said, "I thought you were gonna pour that in the kettle," indicating my coffee. Huh? "That wouldn't be very helpful," said I. How weird is that?

home

Forgot to add that we made it home! Got in at 2:30 am, Wednesday and were asleep by 3. Napped for 4 hours before Amelia woke up. That was a fun reunion and then she punished me for two days. Yesterday she niced up a bit.

Lots more to come!

Nearly Home

We are about to board our final flight I the trip! I just slept for 90
minutes in a cushy leather chair in the Red Carpet Club at SFO. Pretty
awesome. That, and having clean multi-stall bathrooms with toilets
that actually accept tp. :)

Sent from my iPhone

Arrivaderci!

Today we head home. Yay! It's been fun but I am ready. We did a whirlwind walking tour of Rome yesterday. Thank you transportation strike! We also heard there was an Alitalia strike yesterday, so maybe we'll see some of our cruise co-travelers who were scheduled to leave on their flights yesterday this morning when we go to the aiport. This will be especially great for Brandon who has several super-favorite friends. This is, of course, sarcasm. There are some who complain all the time and there are those who complain about those who complain. Guess which one is in our party? :)

Wish us luck in our travels home. Seriously. I think we've demonstrated that we need it.

Blus Seas

No kidding - the Mediterranean is such an amazing shade of blue. I'm sure the photos will not tell the story. And I may not be able to tell it either; the days are running together. We're at sea today after our stops in Greece and Turkey. We hit Naples tomorrow and then on to Rome where the floating portion finishes. Internet access is crazy expensive so the whole story (what I recall as well as many embelishments, to be sure) will come after our return to real life. In the meantime, I'm off to the bar for a fancy drink!

Trip

So, after joining the boat in Corfu, we have docked in Katakalon, Athens, Mykonos and Kusadasi. We've seen some wonderful things and eaten some wonderful food. We have also slept too much and stayed up too late. No one here is complaining.

Guess what?

We are on the ship! It took a few days and many hours in the many airports, but we got here. We got to Corfu after wearing the same clothes for roughly 36 hours. Luckily our hotel was able to give us our room at 7:30am when we arrived so we promptly took hot showers and slept for 8 hours. We got the ship this morning and are currently at sea en route to Olympia.

Thanks for all your well wishes. Wait, you were sending them, right?

Let's try this one again!

About to board again for SFO to Frankfort. We are now missing Venice
and Croatia but will beat the boat to Corfu. This trip WILL happen!

Sent from my iPhone

First day of vacation gets us hours away from home. In the same state!

Our flight was finally canceled. Well, it was actually pushed to 11 this morning. This meant we got a voucher for a hotel and no luggage for overnight.  Luckily we have toothbrushes with us and a few other items to feel freshish as we try this thing again! At this point we only know that we're getting to Frankfort. Brandon is working with the cruise line to figure out when and where we will meet the ship so we can then book the rest of flights/trains/ferries or whatever. 

Adios, South San Francisco Comfort Inn right on the train tracks. We hope to not meet again.

Super! We are still in SF. In the plane. Have been on board for more
than three hours at this point. On the plus side granola bars were
handed out.

We are still hopeful we'll get to the ship on time but we've lost our
evening out in Venice. Did I say the granola bars fell in the plus
category? What I really meant was where's the damn booze!

Sent from my iPhone

Funny...

...Brandon's face upon leaving the mens room after using the Dyson
hand dryer.

Sent from my iPhone

And we're still here in San Frsncisco. The aircraft problem migrated
from the entertainment system to the interphone system and the amassed
trwvelers migrated from gate 98 to gate 102. It was a mad rush to
resume a wait-and-see attitude. Potential exists for departure.

Sent from my iPhone

ONT - SFO

Made it to SF with minutes to spare. Now facing slight delay while
entertainment system gets repaired. At least priorities are in order.

Sent from my iPhone

First day of travel

Here we sit, drinks in hand, waiting for our first delayed flight. Our
first flight of our trip. Not panicking!
Sent from my iPhone

Trail Blazing Resumes

I mentioned we're on diets. We've been talking about it for a while but with our love of all things cheese and beer, we've put it off. Then we got the email. From Princess Cruises. A 12-day Mediterranean voyage. (That's what you say on a boat, right? Voyage? "Trip" doesn't really seem to cut it.) We'd been hoping to do a cruise after the first of the year but this is the region I really wanted to see and Brandon was able to line up all the appropriate signatures on his time-off request and, most importantly, my mom agreed to spend two weeks at our place caring for Amelia and the dogs. Oh yeah! Did I mention? We are going alone. No kid. So, Nutrisystem got our money and we are now losing weight. We were crazy hungry for a few days. Then our bodies got used to that. They're still adjusting to the increased roughage. Well, Brandon's is still adjusting. (Where are those matches?)

So, we leave the end of the month and fly into Venice. We sail from there and hit Dubrovnik, Corfu, Katakolon, Athens, Mykonos, Kusadasi, Rhodes, Santorini, Naples/Capri, and finish up in Rome. WTF! We are so excited. Now I just have to figure out how much freaking out I will put up with from myself when we leave our baby for that long.

Helpful Child

I definitely have a blemish on my face. I definitely picked at it. Amelia definitely sat on the couch next to me last night, poked it, and said, "Ewww. Yucky. Yucky. Yucky yucky ew."

Um, thanks.

Diet

Brandon and I are on diets. He's in El Centro, California for the week. This is pretty much as close to Mexico you can get. If you're not already thinking gigantor burrito, I feel sorry for you. Anyway, he allowed himself a diet break for lunch the other day and sent me photo proof. Jerk.

Some things

I picked up a couple of DVDs for our family-friendly collection (this is a tiny subset of the regular collection). One is called Barnyard. It's an animated number about which I'd heard nothing. This is often how I shop. Anyway, enough about me, the movie's rated PG. The label explains the rating's for "some mild peril and rude humor." I read this aloud to Brandon.
B - Sounds like our house.
R - Mild Peril? Yeah, we got that.
B - No, rude humor.
R - True, we got it all.

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Amelia, after much beating training, has been going to sleep for naps and bedtime generally without complaint for, oh, I don't know, a year now? Until Tuesday. Tuesday I put her in bed for her nap around noon. As is our custom. She's been doing a noon to three nap and an eight to eight overnight for some time. So, Tuesday she screamed for a good ten minutes (as opposed to a bad ten) before going to sleep. Tuesday night I went out for lady time to play bunco with the gals. (You have to play bunco with "gals.") When I got home Brandon reported Amelia had a scream-fest at bedtime to the degree he went in to comfort her. This is a super-rare event around here. This screaming continued through Thursday. Every sleep attempt was met with this reaction. When my child is in this kind of distress there is a large portion of my brain (heart?) which kind of clumps up and gets pissed off. Others suffer. Friday rolled around and we were all home and I decided to do an experiment: it was noon and Amelia had played, pooped, eaten - all the important stuff - so I asked her if she was tired. She said no. Okay, we did this for quite a while. When she wanted to interact, I told her that since it was naptime and she was supposed to be sleeping, I would not play with her. No, she could not have more to eat or drink, it was naptime. She persisted with the line that she was not tired. At 1:50 I said, here's the deal, you are going to sleep. We all went into her room and put her freshly diapered bum into bed. She said "no," but we said "yes." She hollered for a matter of seconds and slept until after five. This led to nine o'clock bedtime which was not protested at all. Since then she's napped from about one to four and gone to bed by nine. The screaming is over. This may not seem like a big deal but an hour is big in the land of the 1.75-year-old. Or more specifically, the land of the mama of the 1.75-year-old. Deep breath. Embrace the change. Vote for Obama.

Don't be the one

She noticed the "shoo" (airplane noise) outside the store yesterday. For the first time. She pointed to her bum and said "seet." I helped her up and she sat. And she loved it.Here's the thing: she doesn't know it can move.
Here's the warning: don't be the one to teach her. I'm looking at you, grandparents.

This is what you get when you say, "Show me your teeth."

Morning, Sunshine!

18-monther gets first haircut (operation mullet-be-gone a success!)

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all you fathers. We threw a party last night for the neighborhood. We were pretty much ready for a party around here. I suggested that we switch Mother's and Father's Days this year because I got Brandon a kick ass gift and I didn't want to wait. It's a bounce house. It is awesome. We had it up for the party as well as a couple of kiddie pools and the climber and the teeter-totter and the picnic table and the inside toys and a bunch of juice boxes and cookies and cupcakes and sugar, sugar, sugar!!! Thank god for the bounce house. I was asked by another mom if I'd laid down the rules for the bouncer. Huh? Rules? Oh, apparently there should be big kid time and little kid time. Okay, got it. And then she asked if I was gonna let the kids eat then bounce then throw up in the bouncer. Huh? And then she said, "You really haven't thought this through, have you?" And she was right. Luckily there was no vomit. You're welcome. Here's a video of the baby dancing with her papa this morning. Her papa is sitting in LAX right now, waiting for a rescheduled flight which puts him into Washington DC at midnight. After that he only has an hour drive. Talk about a happy Father's Day!

Also, while we were readying the backyard for the party, we found a very swollen-with-eggs black widow (killed it), a two-inch scorpion (relocated it to the desert), a partial rabbit (offered it to the coyotes) and a dead baby bird (put it in the trash)! Yay!

We three

Photo by Grandpa Scott (Haku) who, along with Grams Judy, surprised us with a quick overnight visit on their way to a Yosemite trek. (Okay, it wasn't a total surprise, we got a few hours warning.)

A True Trail-Blazer

One of the brightest bulbs in our family chandelier burned out before his time. Brandon's grandfather, LeRoy, died when his plane crashed on Friday morning. Details are still coming in. I was asked to set up a blog site to centralize info.

http://leroypoulin.blogspot.com/

Please visit. There is an email address to which to send photos and remembrances which I will then post.

Ancient Mama-ese Wisdom

"The raisins eaten on a Wednesday afternoon will be re-plumped to grapes on a Thursday morning."

I'm a winner!

A couple weeks back I was cruising through my morning routine - drinking coffee, sitting on the couch, checking the internets - when I read this post on a fave shopping blog:

Dudes. Dudes. 696 valid entries* into the contest to win the 60-minute Flip camcorder. Sometimes I say to my husband, “They really like me!” and he replies “Yes, dear. They really like you…r stuff!” Regardless, I’m glad to have you all along.

I have but one Flip to give, and Ye Olde Random Number Generator picked number 65: Rebecca! Congratulations, Rebecca! (Check your email, and mail me back with your address, please.)

"Self," I say, "Your name is Rebecca." I moused over my name and saw my blog address. I did it again. I blinked, rubbed my eyes, drank more coffee. Could it be? I gingerly tabbed to my email and lo and behold. There was the aforementioned email! Dag. I was a winner.

The shopping blog is wantnot.net and is owned and operated by the lovely Mir. I have been reading her personal blog, Woulda Coulda Shoulda, since Brandon was deployed and have come to include it as one of my daily fixes.

This post is a belated thank-you for the Flip, Mir. We love it!

This thanks is in the form of a video of my kid being cute. You would’ve gotten it sooner but Amelia just wasn’t being cute enough. Kind of a bad deal for her since the agreement is love in return for cuteness. Hopefully she’ll continue to keep up her end of the bargain from now on.

Rebecca


(Try to ignore the creepy way I tell my first-born to "shake it")

I'm not sure what this says about me

Carl's Jr. has Cap'n Crunch shakes and malts. I had a malt last evening. Last night, I dreamed about it. Was it that good or is my life that small-town. Hmmm.

Bubble Dance

Taken March 14.

Survival guide excerpt - Amelia-style

What do you do when a big, yellow dog sits in your lap?


Why, you hug it of course!


Yay for puppies!

Things you've missed out on...

Him (from behind the bathroom door): No, no, no! Aargh. Gah.
Me (greatly concerned): What happened!?!
Him: I accidentally read Cathy!

A month later, repeated with substitution: Mutts.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me (unloading groceries): Look, Albertson's has organic milk by the gallon now.
Him: Cool, how much is it?
Me: Seven dollars.
Him: Gah!
Me: The half-gallons are usually $3.50 or a little more, so...
Him: Gah!
Me: Hey, what's more important than the food we feed our family?
Him: How we're gonna pay for our iPhones!

(Editor's note - Fear not, we found a way)

AC went to the birds

Grams and AC - nature lovers, originally uploaded by Monkey loves Kitten.

And to the fishes. We went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium with Grams last week. Brandon was on yet another business trip (4th one this year) so the dogs and kid and I packed ourselves into the car and headed to Haku and Grams' place for the week. We did a couple of runs to the fantastic playground that is Dennis the Menace park. One of those was with Grams and the other with Uncle Josh, Aunt Julisa, and Cousin Jocelyn. Joss is a year older than Amelia and they're now at an age where they interact and play with one another. Good times. Nothing better than babies chasing babies.

Valentine's Day 2008

Valentine's Day 2008, originally uploaded by Monkey loves Kitten.

Hope you all had some monkey love of your own!

What's in a name?

I made a new friend a few weeks ago. Her husband is new to Brandon's squadron and they have a daughter four days older than Amelia. Another wife put us in touch and we've had playdates at home as well as the park. Today we ventured downtown (that is hilarious if you've ever been here). We were in a shop where we each made a purchase. I went first. After she paid, the shopkeeper said, "Oh, Rebecca, I forgot to get your signature on the slip." Naturally, I walked back to the counter and looked at the slip. It said "Rebecca FriendsLastName." Quoi? I was perplexed to say the least. You see, my new friend is named Annie. So...

"Oh!" says Annie, " "Rebecca is really my first name. I was gonna tell you."
"Wait. What? How is that not something you would tell me right away? P.S. We have the same name."
"No one ever calls me that."
"Okay, you are definitely weird! And now I don't trust you because all the Rebecca's I know are untrustworthy."

I think I may really like this gal.

Thought

This is the hardest time of the year for me. The weeks between ordering the Girl Scout cookies and their arrival. *sigh*

safety

Bounce Houses is having a "Blowout Sale." That's one of those product categories where a blowout really doesn't sound like a selling point.

Sorry, Crimson & Gold

I was at the grocery store with AC today. We were nearing the end of our trip, looping back from beer to ice cream (we're healthy like that), when an elderly white female riding a Rascal gestured to display.
"I wonder if there's a UCLA shirt under that USC one."
"I think there is. I see blue."
"I went to UCLA, I want to put it in front."
"Let's check."
So we did and there were in fact UCLA tees hidden behind the SC sweatshirts. There were two SC shirts showing. I offered to assist. I moved the SC shirts to one rack so the Bruin shirt was showing. That wasn't enough.
"Cover up the other one, too."
Happy to oblige, ma'am. Happy to oblige.

Words do no justice

Un-cross that one off the list

After a second examination and x-ray, it appears there was no actual break. Merely soft tissue damage. Brandon is glad because he had been grounded after the initial diagnosis and is now cleared to fly. I'm glad, too. I am! Unfortunately we didn't get any pictures of the hand. It initially swelled so that his normally veiny and tendony hand was smooth like a baby's bottom. If that baby were particularly hairy. Then there was a bruise in the palm of his hand. Then that bruise migrated to his wrist bone. This was very strange since neither his palm nor wrist hurt. Anyway, he's still in some pain if he uses the hand much or knocks it into something unwittingly. He tried to distract himself from that by stubbing two toes over the weekend. Didn't work, just added to his list of sore parts. Oh well.

Birthday wish

Last Saturday, the 27th:

Me: So, today's your birthday. Big ol' 33. Palindrome. Last one of those for 11 years.
He: *blink*
Me: Anyway, is there anything, ya know, that you want to do today? Anything you've gone your whole life without doing? Any gaping holes of experience? (That sounds dirty.)
He: Hmmm. Poss. Lemme think. Oh yeah! I'm gonna break a bone!
Me: Not exactly the train track of thought I was on...

The bone broken is in his right hand on the outside. The result of a sideways karate chop into the end table leg. Fancy maneuver done while horsing around with the dog. Nicely done, Major!

Pumpkin Patch

Meredith and Amelia went to the pumpkin "patch." I say that because there were a whopping five - count them five! - pumpkins on site. Yee haw.

Stunning examples of parenting

Our neighbors had a party today. It was and 11am to 4pm open house/costume party/birthday celebration deal. They home school so wanted to spread the guests out over the day: home schooling friends earlier and regular schooling friends later. AC and I went over around noon and stayed for two hours. We witnessed the end of pumpkin carving, the entire pinata attack, the costume parade and cupcakes. The mom told me that some kids were there without their parents. She said apparently the kids are at the age where some parents just drop 'em off for the day. She and I agreed that was pretty unbelievable.

Around 2 -- three hours into the party -- a mother who'd slowed at the curb to punt her two boys out at the start came back to retrieve them. As the house mom met her at the door, the pick-up mom actually said, "Wow, it sounds like you're running a daycare!" I caught the house-mom's eye and shook my head. Just another lesson to file away for the future.

Brand new niece

Our nephew, Noah, is a big brother. Welcome to Abigail and congratulations to Kim and Justin!

High Desert Sunrise - view from our backyard

All about the eating

Sure, now the dog is interested in me, originally uploaded by Monkey loves Kitten.

Amelia started eating solid foods a couple months back. We started with runny rice cereal. Mmmm. Makes me hungry just thinking about it. We're trying to give her the best we can so went organic. It was so sweet and pure to feed our sweet and pure baby nothing but the purest. And then there was the recall. I looked all through our baby book but there is no entry for "Baby's First Recall." (In the current climate, I think it would be a useful addition.) So, back to Gerber that went and on to another brand full of additives - only for a bit 'till we could secure another organic brand.

Gerber compensated for the two boxes we sent back with three coupons for free cereal. But they haven't brought their organic line back. And that was kind of the whole point, so... Anyway, from cereal we hopped on over to carrots. We waited for Groms to visit and then did we ever have fun. And by we, I mean Groms and me. AC wasn't exactly on the same page.

Brandon and I spent an evening making baby food with the organic produce I had to drive an hour and a half away to buy. (Yes, the trip was combined with many other errands, thank you for asking.) AC has now had butternut squash, broccoli, red potatoes, pears, apples, apricot, Yukon Gold potatoes, parsnips!, Russet potatoes, avocado, carrots. cauliflower - I think that's it. She's eating lots better than the rest of us, I can tell you that.

With such a big change on the mouth end of the child, there have been some impressive changes on the tail end. Solids in, solids out. Brandon couldn't be happier with that change as he dealt poorly with the first six months of output. When I showed him what we have now and told him to just pop it right into the toilet, he excitedly exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I can totally get behind this!"

Special moments.

Wurds

Brandon and I have always delighted in coming up with fantastic names for children. This was to be phase one of the lifetime of abuse we had planned for the offspring. I think more than one of you breathed a sigh of relief when Amelia was presented.

One of the naming resources we threatened to use was the IKEA catalog. Naturally. Well, Brandon and I were instant messaging the other day and the typos were abundant. I typed "florr" instead of "floor." I then wrote, "Florr, the new product from IKEA." This is Brandon's response:

Try new Florr. In Woud, Kaerpit and the always Swedish Neo-Moderninst Minimalistic Semi-Constructionist, Konkreet.

File that one away under "names for future consideration."

We've got a Creepy Crawler

And she's covered with dog hair.

Eavesdropping

Not really. I was watering in the front yard yesterday when the neighbor kids walked out of their front door to the garage. Apparently their dad was in the garage. I didn't see him but I did hear him yell, "WHO TOOK THIS BIKE DOWN!?!?!" This was followed by some muffled kid speak which was overridden by lost-temper-style screaming from the dad. This guy is unusually quiet from what we've observed so I was pretty startled. I ran away. I then told Brandon about what I'd heard and how it freaked me out. He pointed out that we don't really know what was going on. It could've been a safety issue. For instance maybe touching dad's $3000 bicycle could get you killed.

Hmmm, to think I hadn't thought of it that way. Good thing Brandon's here to help.

HAPPY FOURTH TO YA!

Childrearing versus Housekeeping

Outside our living room is a small patio with a metal covering. The covering's shape is pleated and under each small peak is a space between it and the frame. Birds have taken advantage of these small, sheltered spots to build nests. I figure they are smart to do so because their work is protected from the crazy desert winds we get. Also a possibility is they are lazy because there's no balancing of twigs and other nesting materials to be done. They just have to pad their pads.

We've got a great view of these families from inside the house, getting much closer than we otherwise would. We also peak in with a mirror from time to time to see what's going on. We do this part when the parents are away, of course. One of the original nests has launched a couple batches of fledglings successfully. This nest is simply caked with poop. Poop upon poop, sometimes falling off in chunks. Another nest at the other end of the patio was remarkably clean. We saw birds in and out and had seen eggs within. One day I saw the mother feeding her hatchlings. After she had, she began cleaning her nest and it's surroundings. She was eating the poop. After I threw up a little bit in my mouth (much like a bird), I went about my day. A few days later, Brandon found a dead baby in a corner of the yard often visited by the dogs. He speculated it had fallen from a nest and been transported by a four-legged undertaker. I mentioned I had noted a stink over the last few days so Brandon got the mirror and discovered a dead baby in the clean nest. It looked about the same age as the other.

The only lesson I can draw is a clean house can be detrimental to your child's health and welfare. It would be careless of me to not heed this lesson, don't ya think? Ma Nature always knows best.

If You Don't Know Me, You Don't Know Who I am or Umpires Have Families, Too

A few Saturdays ago, Amelia and I visited Brandon at the baseball game. He was ump'ing home plate. She and I stood behind the bleachers for one of the teams. We stood in part because it was shaded and in larger part because I was wearing shorts and I have a policy to not sit down in shorts in public. As we stood and watched, women sitting in front of us began to complain about the ump. They weren't complaining to him, just about him. He didn't make calls loud enough for the spectators to hear. Yeah, and a few weeks before, he refused to call a ball as fair, he would only call them foul. Oh, but they liked Dave, now Dave you could hear. Not this guy, couldn't hear him.

So, I thought about things to say. I could point out that this umpire volunteered his time off - often his whole Saturday - to be here, in 100% polyester, in the sun, because he loves baseball and understands how important it is for these kids to have. Especially in a town like this with so few options. I could say, yes, he makes about 20 bucks a game, but that all he's earned hasn't come close to what he's spent on gear. I could mention that he studies the rules the eve of each game because he's very concerned that he do well by the kids. I could say that he told about refusing to call a fair ball because that's not the way of the real world and could be confusing to kids who are expecting only to hear the fouls called. In the end, I decided to go with my normal passive approach and simply watch them crumple over themselves in embarrassment after the baby and I met him at the fence to say good-bye.

Remember, If you don't know me, then you don't know who I am. Or how diabolical I can be. Mwa ha ha.

"Oh, I forgot to ask you if you fed the dogs last night."

"No, I thought you did it before you left."

"Crap! No! I left at 5:30. They don't eat until 7!. Man, that is the first time since we've had them that we've forgotten to feed them."

"Really? That's pretty good then."

**Blink. Blink.**

Don't make me put this down...

DSC01652.JPG, originally uploaded by Monkey loves Kitten.

Press Release

Ridgecrest, CA:

A coalition of Brandonia (The Fatherland) and Rebeccaslavia (The Motherland) announce the granting of Most Favored Daughter status to Amelia Charlotte. This decision follows Amelia Charlotte's recent move to cease her occupation of The Fatherland and The Motherland's capitol, MasterBedroom City. Amelia Charlotte has declared Nurserytopia as base of operations for periods of eight to nine hours per day. These hours typically occur overnight. The international community applauds this development as it expected to signal a shift toward normalized relations between The Fatherland and The Motherland. Additionally, it is anticipated the general health and well-being of all residents will improve with this sea change in the local environment.

Intervention

Dear AC,

Today you are four months old. You seem to be celebrating. You've decided not to sleep, to babble nonsense seemingly non-stop, and there was that weirdly paranoid episode when the cell phone rang and you burst into tears while looking over your shoulder repeatedly. Time for some truth, are you on drugs? Do I need to check the tiny pockets in your tiny clothes? They're there for a reason, aren't they? Who's your dealer? Is it little Maddy next door? I thought there was a little too much sparkle in her eyes. And she's always got new shoes. Well, at least she's successful. You've gotta admire the ambition, especially for an Air Force kid. Putting all that aside, seriously, what is your deal? You know you can talk to me. Well, not really since your handle on English leaves a little somthing to be desired. Just know we are watching you and your dad is tossing your crib as we speak.

Love,
Mama

How we roll

"Do me a favor and get the pooper scooper and pick up that dead bird. I'm going to mow the lawn when I get back."

"Ewww."

"Fine. If you're gonna grouse about it, I'll pick it up myself."

"I don't think it's a grouse."

"What?"

"I think it's a blackbird."

"I can't believe I walked into that."

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"That's why you wanted to have a baby."

"What?"

"So you could pull your boob out in public."

"Like I need a baby for that."

My secret shame

Cupcakes of Shame, originally uploaded by Monkey loves Kitten.

I've been doing something since December that I'm reluctantly revealing here today. Those of you who've known me for years will recognize that this behavior is not the norm. Okay, here goes, I've been baking holiday-appropriate treats for Brandon to take to work and share. And, if that wasn't bad enough, the goodies have been accompanied by holiday-specific paper napkins. What the hell. I really can't explain it. Also, I plan these things weeks ahead of time and have the ingredients out and the cookbook open days in advance.

So, in the spirit of full disclosure, here's a picture of what went with Brandon to work today. These are yellow cupcakes with buttercream frosting and Easter sprinkles. For St. Patrick's Day I baked Irish soda bread and sent it in with green napkins. On Valentine's Day the featured item was white chocolate chip cookies with red, pink, and white M&Ms. Red napkins did the trick that day. Pre-Christmas was cranberry walnut bread. That was the first incident and I hadn't thought of napkins yet.

What's the next holiday? I need to get to work on my plan and also I need more seasonal hand towels. Oh man, there goes another secret.

Weekend visit to Ventura

Ventura Farmers' Market chard, originally uploaded by Monkey loves Kitten.

We three trucked on down to Ventura for St. Patrick's Day weekend. The dogs stayed home, were fed by a neighbor, and were locked in the house at 4am by another neighbor who couldn't take the barking anymore. Oops.

Grandma Chris was in the 805 for a needlepoint retreat and we visited with her at her brother Tasker and his family's home in Camarillo. We had a great time and enjoyed some delicious grilled meat! We did that the afternoon of St. Patrick's Day after the husband and I took Amelia to her first parade. In all the years I lived a mere block off the parade route, I don't think I ever watched the thing. It's possible that it's 10am start was a little early for me on such a celebratory weekend, but more likely I had to work.

On Friday, when we got to town, we visited our friend Elizabeth and her son, Alexander. He's nine months old and just about the smiliest kid ever. Brandon enjoyed playing with his toy that enunciates letters when pressed. "Pee oh oh pee. Jay ee ar kay. A ess ess." You get the idea. (Note to self: do not purchase spelling toy for Amelia.) After our visit and a quick check-in at the hotel, we headed to Oxnard to our fave sushi restaurant. It'd been almost exactly a year since our last visit. And our baby is three months old. Hmmm, I'm thinking their sushi is powerful stuff.

We got up early Sunday and got to Pete's (popular) Breakfast House early enough to not have to wait. Yum. Squeezed in a visit to the cloth-diapering store. Brandon weighed Amelia before and after a wet diaper change and noted a half-pound difference. Hee hee. There he also elicited Amelia's first laughs while looking at herself in the mirror. We then headed to Pablo & Joanna's for a visit. Jo's sister, Meesh, came by (with noodle salad - so good) and Kevanie (that's Stephanie and Kevin) also made it over to see the kid.

The weekend marked some firsts for Amelia. First time in a dress (cute), first laughter, first trip to Ventura, first parade, and, the best, first time I put her in her bouncy seat in front of the t.v. so I could get a few things done. What? It was Simpson's, it's wholesome. ;)

Poor word choice

I listen to the news on the radio. I occasionally catch a bit on t.v. Once in a while I read a full story in the newspaper. In all of these media I have noticed the following: While being interviewed, police, victims, attorneys, and witnesses have referred to the alleged perpetrator as a "gentleman." Huh? The alleged attacker was a a gentleman? That's a little generous. I can think of a few other descriptors that are a bit more apropos. Maybe not polite, but is that really what we're going for here?

It's my dad's birthday

Photoshoot for Haku's birthday card, originally uploaded by Monkey loves Kitten.

So, to celeberate, here are some pictures of the baby! What? That doesn't make sense? Fine. Look at her anyway.

Ed. note: I noticed my typo "celeberate," and was going to correct it, but now think it's a pretty good word. Feel free to use it and to celeberate my dad on his special day. ;)

Mine eye has seen the gory of the oozing of the goop.

But thankfully it's mostly just really red now. I saw the doc and got drops for the eye and a shot of penicillin in the rump for suspected strep.

Two things - 1. Why is it called "Pinkeye" when it is so very red? 2. People won't look directly into the eye. They fear it's power.

More importantly, Brandon is umping Pony baseball. They best thing is the all-polyester outfit. And the posing.

I thought this would come later

So you become a parent and you know that down the road this means you - through your loving offspring - will become exposed to contagious, creepy childhood maladies. What you don't expect is to wake up next to your fresh and unexposed to the petri dishes of daycare, playgrounds, and Chuck E. Cheese and find you have a raging case of Pinkeye. Gross. I'll spare you a photo. For now. No telling what I'll think tomorrow. I may post one then in a misguided quest for sympathy.

I've got a Major Pain

The leaf, originally uploaded by Monkey loves Kitten.

Cap'n Kitten is no longer. We now have a Major Pain living here. Brandon was promoted March 1. There was a five minute ceremony at the Marines' offices here. The second in command performed the ceremony as the number one guy was out of town. I think we got the better one of the two having heard the Colonel speak in public before. Awkward fellow. Anyway, there were about eight in attendance and I got to enjoy that uneasy feeling of being the only one in the room not standing at attention. Never sure how to handle that one. The senior Marine in Brandon's squadron, Flipper, and I had the honor of removing the captain's bars and replacing them with the golden oak leaves. I failed to understand the instruction to "place the stem parallel to the deck" but the promotion stuck anyhow. Afterwards Flipper commented that he missed a moment of the ceremony when Amelia, in her car carrier atop a desk, let one rip. That's our girl. She wanted to participate. Can you blame her? We had a family lunch out in town (fancy!). We then came home where I cermoniously chucked the pair of bars I had taken off earlier right into the trash. Brandon changed into his flight suit, switched to a new name badge bearing the proper title and headed off to work to try to remember to answer the phone with his new moniker. I tested him later - he passed. I think he'll do just fine.

Baptism

IMG_0695.jpg, originally uploaded by Monkey loves Kitten.

Amelia was baptized February 17 at Haku and Grams' house. Family friend, Philip, performed the ceremony as he did for our wedding. We had a fun day. Amelia excercised her lungs several times, slept some, and made the rounds. Click on this photo for an album of shots made by Grandpa Rob. Type http://lizedlund.com/Amelia/ for pics made by our friend (and photographer) Liz. I'm not able to make a hotlink for some reason - sorry.

Happy Valentine's Day to ya!

A different kid for a change

Jocelyn 2-11-07a, originally uploaded by Monkey loves Kitten.

Here's a shot of Jocelyn taken by Haku (Grandpa Scott) this morning. She's smiling because she gets to meet her cousin this Friday. She's been around for a while and has lots of tips on parental (and grandparental, natch) manipulation to pass along to Amelia. You're never to young to begin to hone your craft, afer all. When done properly, P/GM can serve a girl well for decades. Commence practicing puppy eyes!

I see you

Blue eyes, originally uploaded by Monkey loves Kitten.

We have a button

Amelia finally gave up the stump at a mere four weeks of age. It took a while but we are quite pleased with the result. Let the raspberries begin!

Brandon's photos

Brandon uploaded some pics to the Flickr account after only a lot of nagging.

Click here for some from Pablo & Joanna's Labor Day bbq.

And here for some he took in Coupeville on Whidbey Island while training there this summer.

Silent Scream

Silent Scream, originally uploaded by Monkey loves Kitten.

While at the doctor's office the other day, her pediatrician remarked that Amelia would have to learn to control her temper. What ever could he have been talking about?

Cuatro Generaciones

4 generations, originally uploaded by Monkey loves Kitten.

Amelia is so popular. She had a visit from Brandon's mom, aunt Val, and grandpa LeRoy (Poppo) last week. After that she had her first trip out of town to Santa Clarita and her first trip to a restaurant to meet Great-Grand Gramps Otto and Great-Grandma Eve. They were in SoCal already so the timing was perfect. Amelia is just checking people off the list left and right!

The baby had a checkup at two weeks and two days and is growing well. The kid's head gained half an inch, her length had increased by an inch, and she gained 14 ounces in nine days. Clearly she's getting enough to eat. As she should the number of times a day she requires Mama's services in that department.

Sushi - finally

After foregoing raw fish for the better part of a year, the sushi-fast was broken. Thanks to Grandma Chris' offer to babysit, Brandon & I got our first post-natal date. Amazingly, there is a decent Japanese restaurant in beautiful downtown Ridgecrest and there was plenty of room at the sushi bar last night. We tried to take pictures but the feeding frenzy was such a flurry of chopsticks and wasabi, none turned out. I was a little overzealous when I instructed the chef to make the Red Dragon roll "all the way" hot, but otherwise it was a perfect meal and good practice for our next trip to our truly favorite place in Oxnard - Yokozuna. Babies like sushi, right?

Hospital Portrait

Amelia's hospital pic in the Christmas getup they gave her. Poor kid.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Classic overindulgence, originally uploaded by Monkey loves Kitten.

Amelia surprised us all this morning when we found her passed out on the sofa, suffering from a bad case of New Year's regret. Some kids just don't know when to say when.

Hope the New Year finds you all in good spirits and good health!

What are YOU looking at?

Always goes right for the eyes, the turkey, originally uploaded by Monkey loves Kitten.

Shane was tired of Quentin and Amelia getting all the attention. She was pleased to open a gift from her cousin Dudley and discover the perfect plan. She would take the stuffed shark toy to the backyard. The conehead dog would be no match for her and her bare-headed self. She'd wag and smile for the camera and as soon as the bipeds' backs were turned, off would come the eyes!!! Ha ha! "Now they'll have to look at me," she woofed softly. "Now it's my time to shine."

Shine on, Shaney, shine on.

Most Perfect Package

Christmas2006, originally uploaded by Monkey loves Kitten.

Introducing Tax-break 2006!

Close-up of the eyeballs
Originally uploaded by Monkey loves Kitten.

AKA: Amelia Charlotte

Amelia was born Tuesday, December 19 at 5:18pm. She was 8lbs 6.2ozs and 21.75ins. Her head was 14" in diameter.

Winners are:
Birthdate - tie between Kim and RoCoBeGo. Neither was right on but were closest at a day off.
Birthweight - Grandma Chris at 2 ounces off.
Length - Wendy, Grandma Chris and VenturaMom within a quarter inch.
Oh, and special recognition to V, who predicted "perfect." She was totally right on.

The boy/girl votes were pretty evenly split. There seems to be no science to the how-you-carry thing. Not that I thought there was a science to it, c'mon, I don't fall for that sort of thing. Usually.

Okay, winners, something special and CLASSY will be coming your way, but don't hold your breath.

If you need us, we'll be kissing the baby.

Bring me the head of Quentin the Canine on a platter!

Floating head
Originally uploaded by Monkey loves Kitten.

This is what happens when you bark one too many times over at our house. Too bad, too, because we found out the mass on his foot was benign so he could've lived so much more life.

Mix-tape, made easier with iTunes

Brandon is making me a special birthing mix. Here's the line-up so far:

• "Dreadlock Holiday" - 10cc (just 'cause I don't like it, I LOVE it)
• "Feels Like the First Time" - Foreigner
• "Hey (Been Tryin' to Meet Ya)" - The Pixies
• "Break on Through to the Other Side" - The Doors
• "Exodus" - Bob Marley and the Wailers
• "Dazed and Confused" - Led Zeppelin
• "Bring the Noise" - Anthrax with Public Enemy
• "Brown Eyed Girl" - Van Morrison (just 'cause that's what Brandon says we're having)
• "Daughters" - John Mayer (again with the girl theme)
• "Hey, Baby" - No Doubt
• "Feels Just Like it Should" - Jamiroquai
• "I Believe (When I Fall in Love it Will Be Forever)" - Stevie Wonder
• "I'm a Lonely Little Petunia (in an Onion Patch)" - Imogene Heap
• "At the Zoo" - Simon and Garfunkel
• "No Sleep 'til Brooklyn" - Beastie Boys

Anything we're missing?

Santa's Crap Shop

The weekend after Thanksgiving brought the annual Santa's Crap Shop to the fairgrounds. Okay, it's really called an "art" show. You guessed it, no good. Ventura has a twice yearly street festival billed as a craft fair. I've always called it the crap fair. Oh, I always went to it, don't get me wrong. But somehow my money managaed to stay in my pocket, try as I might to find something, anything, I could stand. Well, I did always manage to find room for a "maragrita" (that's really what the sign said, not just how I said it after having had one) down at the Catholic church. Somehow they were the only ones allowed to sell alcohol. Well, this deal here didn't let us down in the crap department. We even paid to get in to really sweeten the deal. Of course if we hadn't gone, I wouldn't have heard the woman say to her friends - in reference to me - "That one's about to pop!" Oh, stop charming me, you.

This food booth's sign also charmed me.
Yep.

This is a dog we know suffering great humiliation.

Not that we frown on that. 'Cause we don't.

Extra super stoned

Extra super stoned
Originally uploaded by Monkey loves Kitten.

Quentin had surgery yesterday to have a mass removed from his right heel. Poor kid was at the hospital for nine hours. He had a general anesthetic so we got his teeth cleaned while he was out. The doc also found a small growth on his tongue. What a wreck this guy is!

Well, he was fairly stoned when we picked him up but despite that was able to communicate to us that he was pretty pissed off. He didn't have the strength to sneer for a few hours, but we could tell.

I called my dad to report on Quentin's condition and realized, as my dad waited for me to say why I was calling, that at this point in my pregnancy I can't call anyone unless it's show time. Sorry.

Click on the pic for some gory goodness!

As long as people are betting...

Got some weigh-in re: baby's premiere in comments on our Britney and K-Fed post. (P.S. We are totally broken up over their break-up. Hard to talk about it. Meep.) So, anyway, why don't we just open this thing up to speculation. I suppose I should offer some sort of prize to those of you who get the date right. Also some sort of prize for those who are closest on the weight and/or length. I don't think I'll offer anything but a hearty congratulations if you get the sex correct. Not enough variables on that one. What might these prizes be? Good question. Good question indeed. Yeah, I don't know. I will come up with something classy, though, to be sure.

Let the predictions begin...

What do you do with a drunken sailor?

I don't know, but after last night's squadron holiday party, I sure know what one looks like. Sorry, no photo evidence. Top secret base. You know how it is. Let me just say that there was lots-and-plenty unscheduled entertainment on the dance floor.

Hallow-truckin-ween 2006