We've got a Creepy Crawler

And she's covered with dog hair.

Eavesdropping

Not really. I was watering in the front yard yesterday when the neighbor kids walked out of their front door to the garage. Apparently their dad was in the garage. I didn't see him but I did hear him yell, "WHO TOOK THIS BIKE DOWN!?!?!" This was followed by some muffled kid speak which was overridden by lost-temper-style screaming from the dad. This guy is unusually quiet from what we've observed so I was pretty startled. I ran away. I then told Brandon about what I'd heard and how it freaked me out. He pointed out that we don't really know what was going on. It could've been a safety issue. For instance maybe touching dad's $3000 bicycle could get you killed.

Hmmm, to think I hadn't thought of it that way. Good thing Brandon's here to help.

HAPPY FOURTH TO YA!

Childrearing versus Housekeeping

Outside our living room is a small patio with a metal covering. The covering's shape is pleated and under each small peak is a space between it and the frame. Birds have taken advantage of these small, sheltered spots to build nests. I figure they are smart to do so because their work is protected from the crazy desert winds we get. Also a possibility is they are lazy because there's no balancing of twigs and other nesting materials to be done. They just have to pad their pads.

We've got a great view of these families from inside the house, getting much closer than we otherwise would. We also peak in with a mirror from time to time to see what's going on. We do this part when the parents are away, of course. One of the original nests has launched a couple batches of fledglings successfully. This nest is simply caked with poop. Poop upon poop, sometimes falling off in chunks. Another nest at the other end of the patio was remarkably clean. We saw birds in and out and had seen eggs within. One day I saw the mother feeding her hatchlings. After she had, she began cleaning her nest and it's surroundings. She was eating the poop. After I threw up a little bit in my mouth (much like a bird), I went about my day. A few days later, Brandon found a dead baby in a corner of the yard often visited by the dogs. He speculated it had fallen from a nest and been transported by a four-legged undertaker. I mentioned I had noted a stink over the last few days so Brandon got the mirror and discovered a dead baby in the clean nest. It looked about the same age as the other.

The only lesson I can draw is a clean house can be detrimental to your child's health and welfare. It would be careless of me to not heed this lesson, don't ya think? Ma Nature always knows best.

If You Don't Know Me, You Don't Know Who I am or Umpires Have Families, Too

A few Saturdays ago, Amelia and I visited Brandon at the baseball game. He was ump'ing home plate. She and I stood behind the bleachers for one of the teams. We stood in part because it was shaded and in larger part because I was wearing shorts and I have a policy to not sit down in shorts in public. As we stood and watched, women sitting in front of us began to complain about the ump. They weren't complaining to him, just about him. He didn't make calls loud enough for the spectators to hear. Yeah, and a few weeks before, he refused to call a ball as fair, he would only call them foul. Oh, but they liked Dave, now Dave you could hear. Not this guy, couldn't hear him.

So, I thought about things to say. I could point out that this umpire volunteered his time off - often his whole Saturday - to be here, in 100% polyester, in the sun, because he loves baseball and understands how important it is for these kids to have. Especially in a town like this with so few options. I could say, yes, he makes about 20 bucks a game, but that all he's earned hasn't come close to what he's spent on gear. I could mention that he studies the rules the eve of each game because he's very concerned that he do well by the kids. I could say that he told about refusing to call a fair ball because that's not the way of the real world and could be confusing to kids who are expecting only to hear the fouls called. In the end, I decided to go with my normal passive approach and simply watch them crumple over themselves in embarrassment after the baby and I met him at the fence to say good-bye.

Remember, If you don't know me, then you don't know who I am. Or how diabolical I can be. Mwa ha ha.

"Oh, I forgot to ask you if you fed the dogs last night."

"No, I thought you did it before you left."

"Crap! No! I left at 5:30. They don't eat until 7!. Man, that is the first time since we've had them that we've forgotten to feed them."

"Really? That's pretty good then."

**Blink. Blink.**

Don't make me put this down...

DSC01652.JPG, originally uploaded by Monkey loves Kitten.

Press Release

Ridgecrest, CA:

A coalition of Brandonia (The Fatherland) and Rebeccaslavia (The Motherland) announce the granting of Most Favored Daughter status to Amelia Charlotte. This decision follows Amelia Charlotte's recent move to cease her occupation of The Fatherland and The Motherland's capitol, MasterBedroom City. Amelia Charlotte has declared Nurserytopia as base of operations for periods of eight to nine hours per day. These hours typically occur overnight. The international community applauds this development as it expected to signal a shift toward normalized relations between The Fatherland and The Motherland. Additionally, it is anticipated the general health and well-being of all residents will improve with this sea change in the local environment.

Intervention

Dear AC,

Today you are four months old. You seem to be celebrating. You've decided not to sleep, to babble nonsense seemingly non-stop, and there was that weirdly paranoid episode when the cell phone rang and you burst into tears while looking over your shoulder repeatedly. Time for some truth, are you on drugs? Do I need to check the tiny pockets in your tiny clothes? They're there for a reason, aren't they? Who's your dealer? Is it little Maddy next door? I thought there was a little too much sparkle in her eyes. And she's always got new shoes. Well, at least she's successful. You've gotta admire the ambition, especially for an Air Force kid. Putting all that aside, seriously, what is your deal? You know you can talk to me. Well, not really since your handle on English leaves a little somthing to be desired. Just know we are watching you and your dad is tossing your crib as we speak.

Love,
Mama

How we roll

"Do me a favor and get the pooper scooper and pick up that dead bird. I'm going to mow the lawn when I get back."

"Ewww."

"Fine. If you're gonna grouse about it, I'll pick it up myself."

"I don't think it's a grouse."

"What?"

"I think it's a blackbird."

"I can't believe I walked into that."

--------------------------------------------------------

"That's why you wanted to have a baby."

"What?"

"So you could pull your boob out in public."

"Like I need a baby for that."

My secret shame

Cupcakes of Shame, originally uploaded by Monkey loves Kitten.

I've been doing something since December that I'm reluctantly revealing here today. Those of you who've known me for years will recognize that this behavior is not the norm. Okay, here goes, I've been baking holiday-appropriate treats for Brandon to take to work and share. And, if that wasn't bad enough, the goodies have been accompanied by holiday-specific paper napkins. What the hell. I really can't explain it. Also, I plan these things weeks ahead of time and have the ingredients out and the cookbook open days in advance.

So, in the spirit of full disclosure, here's a picture of what went with Brandon to work today. These are yellow cupcakes with buttercream frosting and Easter sprinkles. For St. Patrick's Day I baked Irish soda bread and sent it in with green napkins. On Valentine's Day the featured item was white chocolate chip cookies with red, pink, and white M&Ms. Red napkins did the trick that day. Pre-Christmas was cranberry walnut bread. That was the first incident and I hadn't thought of napkins yet.

What's the next holiday? I need to get to work on my plan and also I need more seasonal hand towels. Oh man, there goes another secret.

Weekend visit to Ventura

Ventura Farmers' Market chard, originally uploaded by Monkey loves Kitten.

We three trucked on down to Ventura for St. Patrick's Day weekend. The dogs stayed home, were fed by a neighbor, and were locked in the house at 4am by another neighbor who couldn't take the barking anymore. Oops.

Grandma Chris was in the 805 for a needlepoint retreat and we visited with her at her brother Tasker and his family's home in Camarillo. We had a great time and enjoyed some delicious grilled meat! We did that the afternoon of St. Patrick's Day after the husband and I took Amelia to her first parade. In all the years I lived a mere block off the parade route, I don't think I ever watched the thing. It's possible that it's 10am start was a little early for me on such a celebratory weekend, but more likely I had to work.

On Friday, when we got to town, we visited our friend Elizabeth and her son, Alexander. He's nine months old and just about the smiliest kid ever. Brandon enjoyed playing with his toy that enunciates letters when pressed. "Pee oh oh pee. Jay ee ar kay. A ess ess." You get the idea. (Note to self: do not purchase spelling toy for Amelia.) After our visit and a quick check-in at the hotel, we headed to Oxnard to our fave sushi restaurant. It'd been almost exactly a year since our last visit. And our baby is three months old. Hmmm, I'm thinking their sushi is powerful stuff.

We got up early Sunday and got to Pete's (popular) Breakfast House early enough to not have to wait. Yum. Squeezed in a visit to the cloth-diapering store. Brandon weighed Amelia before and after a wet diaper change and noted a half-pound difference. Hee hee. There he also elicited Amelia's first laughs while looking at herself in the mirror. We then headed to Pablo & Joanna's for a visit. Jo's sister, Meesh, came by (with noodle salad - so good) and Kevanie (that's Stephanie and Kevin) also made it over to see the kid.

The weekend marked some firsts for Amelia. First time in a dress (cute), first laughter, first trip to Ventura, first parade, and, the best, first time I put her in her bouncy seat in front of the t.v. so I could get a few things done. What? It was Simpson's, it's wholesome. ;)

Poor word choice

I listen to the news on the radio. I occasionally catch a bit on t.v. Once in a while I read a full story in the newspaper. In all of these media I have noticed the following: While being interviewed, police, victims, attorneys, and witnesses have referred to the alleged perpetrator as a "gentleman." Huh? The alleged attacker was a a gentleman? That's a little generous. I can think of a few other descriptors that are a bit more apropos. Maybe not polite, but is that really what we're going for here?

It's my dad's birthday

Photoshoot for Haku's birthday card, originally uploaded by Monkey loves Kitten.

So, to celeberate, here are some pictures of the baby! What? That doesn't make sense? Fine. Look at her anyway.

Ed. note: I noticed my typo "celeberate," and was going to correct it, but now think it's a pretty good word. Feel free to use it and to celeberate my dad on his special day. ;)

Mine eye has seen the gory of the oozing of the goop.

But thankfully it's mostly just really red now. I saw the doc and got drops for the eye and a shot of penicillin in the rump for suspected strep.

Two things - 1. Why is it called "Pinkeye" when it is so very red? 2. People won't look directly into the eye. They fear it's power.

More importantly, Brandon is umping Pony baseball. They best thing is the all-polyester outfit. And the posing.

I thought this would come later

So you become a parent and you know that down the road this means you - through your loving offspring - will become exposed to contagious, creepy childhood maladies. What you don't expect is to wake up next to your fresh and unexposed to the petri dishes of daycare, playgrounds, and Chuck E. Cheese and find you have a raging case of Pinkeye. Gross. I'll spare you a photo. For now. No telling what I'll think tomorrow. I may post one then in a misguided quest for sympathy.

I've got a Major Pain

The leaf, originally uploaded by Monkey loves Kitten.

Cap'n Kitten is no longer. We now have a Major Pain living here. Brandon was promoted March 1. There was a five minute ceremony at the Marines' offices here. The second in command performed the ceremony as the number one guy was out of town. I think we got the better one of the two having heard the Colonel speak in public before. Awkward fellow. Anyway, there were about eight in attendance and I got to enjoy that uneasy feeling of being the only one in the room not standing at attention. Never sure how to handle that one. The senior Marine in Brandon's squadron, Flipper, and I had the honor of removing the captain's bars and replacing them with the golden oak leaves. I failed to understand the instruction to "place the stem parallel to the deck" but the promotion stuck anyhow. Afterwards Flipper commented that he missed a moment of the ceremony when Amelia, in her car carrier atop a desk, let one rip. That's our girl. She wanted to participate. Can you blame her? We had a family lunch out in town (fancy!). We then came home where I cermoniously chucked the pair of bars I had taken off earlier right into the trash. Brandon changed into his flight suit, switched to a new name badge bearing the proper title and headed off to work to try to remember to answer the phone with his new moniker. I tested him later - he passed. I think he'll do just fine.

Baptism

IMG_0695.jpg, originally uploaded by Monkey loves Kitten.

Amelia was baptized February 17 at Haku and Grams' house. Family friend, Philip, performed the ceremony as he did for our wedding. We had a fun day. Amelia excercised her lungs several times, slept some, and made the rounds. Click on this photo for an album of shots made by Grandpa Rob. Type http://lizedlund.com/Amelia/ for pics made by our friend (and photographer) Liz. I'm not able to make a hotlink for some reason - sorry.

Happy Valentine's Day to ya!