I thought this would come later

So you become a parent and you know that down the road this means you - through your loving offspring - will become exposed to contagious, creepy childhood maladies. What you don't expect is to wake up next to your fresh and unexposed to the petri dishes of daycare, playgrounds, and Chuck E. Cheese and find you have a raging case of Pinkeye. Gross. I'll spare you a photo. For now. No telling what I'll think tomorrow. I may post one then in a misguided quest for sympathy.